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Nov
14

How Not to Be “People Watched”

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Almost everyone I know enjoys “people watching.” It’s become one of our nation’s favorite past times. Have you ever wondered if you were the focus of other’s people watching? What can people like you and me do to make sure that we are never the object of other’s people watching? Recently my daughters and I composed a working list of do’s and don’ts to make sure that we are never the fodder for the growing amusement. Hopefully some of these suggestions will help you prepare for Christmas shopping this season.

1. Dress your age.
Among those that caused us to take a second glance were those who chose not to dress age appropriately. Of course there are those who dress a little old for their age, middle school kids, and such. But the most noticeable were those who dressed a little young. Honorable mention to women who dress like their adult, married daughters.

2. Wear your size.
I am savvy enough to know that the clothing industry has waved their magic wands to change sizes to lift shoppers spirits, although I still don’t understand how someone could be a size zero let alone a double zero. But let’s be honest. Just because you can button it or zip it doesn’t make it right.

3. Mix in a parenting class.
Toward the top of the leader board are those are challenged by their children’s behaviors in public. Anyone who has kids or had young kids know that shopping with kids can be challenging. Babysitters are not always an option. But seriously. They’re your kids. Watch them. No one else is. While I’m at it let me take a moment to address a personal pet peeve. Please don’t sit your diapered child on the check out counter. Especially in a fast food restaurant. You’re putting your kid’s unchanged diaper precisely where the cashier is going to place the food I will put in my mouth.

4. Use your indoor voice.
You’re not at a football game. You aren’t out of doors. I struggle with this one because I’m a loud talker, so I have to constantly check my volume. Yes, even when I’m speaking on my cell phone.

5. Wear a belt.
This is self explanatory.

6. Stay awake.
I appreciate the fact that department stores put comfy chairs in the women’s section so weary men can find a respite amidst the racks and racks of clothes. Please enjoy the comfy chairs, but stay awake. Guys like me have a hard time keeping daughters like mine from taking pictures of you with your eyes closed and mouth agape.

7. Check the weather.
When it’s 22 degrees outside, no one thinks you’re tough when you wear shorts with or without the UGG boots.

8. Don’t touch stuff.
If you touch stuff you run the risk of knocking over entire displays and everyone will look at you like they did me in Michael’s not too long ago. No matter how cool or graceful you try to look, you’ll be perceived as a klutz. And no one is going to buy the loudly spoken explanation about the defective arrangement of said items.

9. Don’t overreact to sale prices.
While good sales are to be celebrated, use caution with your level of exuberance lest those around you confuse your gasping with a potential health crisis.

Those are nine tips that will help you avoid being the object of others observations.

Categories : Humor

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